As I sit here, trying to think of what to write, my gaze suddenly turns to the right to see you giving me a death glare, like you always do. I roll my eyes, like I always do, and turn back to this blank piece of paper that is now being filled with my words.
I wonder if you have ever wondered how everything would be like if we didn't fight all the time. If you didn't 'hate' me and I didn't 'hate' you. Would you be kind? Would you not call me names? Would we be best friends? Or...would we 'possibly' date.
But as weird as it sounds, I consider you a friend. One of the closest friends I have. A best friend. Because even though we fight all the time, even though we 'hate' each other, even though you call me names and insult me, I still consider you my best friend.
I gaze back at you, thinking of what else to write. You look up from your paper at me and I quickly turn my gaze back to my paper so you won't notice I was looking at you. Because I don't want you to notice me looking at you.
You think of me as a geek. A boy who is so interested in school. You think you know everything about me. That my life is so simple. But it's not.
I've been though so many things, you have no idea about, and I'm not planning on telling you any time sooner. Because you could care less about my life.
And I know you've been through the same things.
You want everyone to think your so tough. That nothing can break you. But I know that if I tell you this you'll cry like you've never cried before. And I'll end up crying myself, because I wouldn't bare to see you like that.
I know you hide so many things. You keep your feelings bottled up inside, and you think nobody will notices, but I do, because I've been though the same things, and you have no idea.
I keep so many things inside of me. Because I know neither you nor anybody else will hear me out. You could care less about me, but....I care about you.
There's so many things I would like to say to you, but I rather not say them.
I rather wait. And maybe one day, you'll realize I truly don't hate you. That all those times you've insulted me, all those times you've done such bad and embarrassing things to me, and beaten me, I never fought back. And I know I can beat you. I can throw you to the ground and spit in your face if I wanted to. For being so rude to me. But I choose not to. And if you knew why...I don't know what would happen.
But all I'm going to say is, that even though life made us this way, I still think your my best friend. And for now. Because I don't hate you.
I love you.